A lot of women considering surrogate motherhood aren’t sure what to expect – learning about other women’s experiences might help them make a better decision.
Several of our surrogate mothers volunteered to share their stories. This is Amber’s.
The Surrogate Mother Journey With Amber
Amber already has her own child, but when her sister – who had had a hysterectomy – wanted a biological child, Amber agreed to be the surrogate. At first hesitant, she found it to be an amazing experience – that she wanted to repeat for someone else, to help them realize their dreams of becoming mothers.
“Initially I was doing it for my sister, but I found I enjoyed being a surrogate much more than I suspected,” she said. “I thought to myself that this would be a great way to help out others and make money at the same time.”
When Amber brought up the idea of being a hired surrogate, her family and friends supported her. They’d seen her as a surrogate for her sister, so they understood what was happening and why she was doing it.
“My husband was used to me being a surrogate for my sister, so he was fine with my doing it again,” Amber said. “While my own child had also seen me as one, so he already understood the baby was not mine and would go with someone else once it was born.”
On her next surrogacy journey, Amber was asked what kind of people she’d like her intended parents to be. She indicated that she’d prefer a Christian couple as her intended parents, a financially-stable couple who liked children.
It took her about six months to meet a Christian couple named the Wolberts. Amber had a good feeling about them, and they decided to work together.
Amber wanted open communications with them, allowing the intended parents to call anytime until 9 pm, and inviting them to come with her to doctor’s visits. When the Wolberts asked if they could buy her groceries, Amber accepted the offer – for herself, at least, but not for the rest of her family.
“It was a wonderful relationship,” she said. “The Wolberts were very supportive of me; we even exchanged gifts on a number of occasions.”
One of her most unforgettable experiences was how the Wolberts reacted to a gift she’d prepared for them. Once a week during the pregnancy, Amber took a picture of herself, making a photo album of herself getting bigger. As a sign of gratitude, the Wolberts responded by giving her a spa treatment, which she went to with Mrs. Wolbert.
Amber hadn’t expected that her personal connection with the intended parents would become so strong. “We really formed a lasting friendship through the surrogacy experience,” she said.
The Wolberts, for their part, plan on telling their child how Amber helped them, and they hope to maintaining a close relationship with her and her family going forwards.
Amber hadn’t expected to form such a strong relationship with the Wolberts, and the money she earned has enabled her to start a college fund for her son. As a result, she’s really pleased with her experience as a surrogate, and wishes she’d started it earlier in life.
“It’s a life-altering experience,” she said, “and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.”
Your Next Steps
To apply to be a surrogate mother with the Illinois Surrogate Agency, simply fill out our easy online form, and one of our friendly, knowledgeable caseworkers will be in touch with you to discuss your application, talk about the next steps in the process, and answer any questions you may have. In the meantime, you can also check out our free reports for more information on surrogacy and the surrogate experience.